Blasted Integrity

"We believe in being honest, true, chaste...."

Yes yes, and all that stuff.

I consider myself an honest person.  

I don't cheat on my taxes, I've never stolen my neighbor's newspaper, I don't try and sneak extra items in my Costco cart...heck, I've never even tried to fill up my gas tank and run!

I don't have a problem with the big honesty things, really I don't, but for some reason, every so often, my integrity is tested...just a little bit.

And I don't like it.

It's if Satan is "just checking" to see if I'll still do the right thing. 

 I don't like being checked.

Last week I ordered a few items from Ann Taylor.  Beautiful clearance items that I do oh so love.  I received them in the mail yesterday.  This afternoon, an identical package showed up on my doorstep with a repeat of the same items, same tracking number and same order number.

Blast.

Now, I immediately called Ann Taylor to tell them about the problem (Problem?  Is free clothing a problem?)...because I'm just that honest to call immediately.  (enter gagging noise here)

I was put on hold and had to listen to some really crappy hold music.  You would think that because they sell beautiful clothing Ann Taylor would spring for nicer hold music- they don't.

 I was on hold for a good 15 minutes and these were the options that went through my head as I waited so patiently to be honest. ( I said I was honest, I never said anything about being patient.)

"Ann Taylor doesn't need these clothes back, it was their mistake in the first place."

"My little sister wears this exact same size, she could use them!"  (ok ok, she wears a smaller size than me, but she wouldn't cry over new clothes even if they did drown her scrawny frame)

"If I took them back to the store...they might put the money back in my account and then I could buy more clothes...for my sister of course...no, screw the sister- more clothes for me!

"Maybe they will thank me for my honesty and just GIVE me the clothes"

And while these thoughts were racing in my Evil Jill head,  Nice Jill realized that her mansion in heaven just lost some granite or tile somewhere just for thinking dishonest thoughts and that if she didn't stop her scheming ways she would be living eternally with a dirt floor for sure, that or in a trailer house on the south side of Heaven. 

So really, while still listening to awful hold music, I came to the conclusion that I was just hoping for Ann Taylor client services to give me permission to be dishonest.  

Because if they gave me permission, it wouldn't be bad and then I could keep the clothes and my celestial upgrades.

But they didn't give me permission, they just emailed me a free return label and told me to drop the clothes in the mail. 

 Dang Ann Taylor.

And dang Satan for knowing my weakness of free high quality clothing.