I'll take the letter "M" Pat. M as is Marking...Movement...and Madness.

If this post was a puzzle for Wheel of Fortune it would be one of those with a double meaning and would read something like this..."Leaving your mark(ing)your territory"   Unfortunately I didn't win $25,000, but only walked away with the consolation prize...and I use the term prize lightly.

In every parent's life there comes a time when your child does something so despicable that words can't even express how humiliated you are.   As you hang your head in shame you have thoughts like, "I didn't raise my child this way," and  "Not MY son,  he would never do something like that."  Up to now in the Walker Family, I believe my sister held the title for the "most embarrassing thing my child did" award.  Her experience included a school, a bare bum and a bishops daughter.   That's all the information I will give out to protect the innocent until proven guilty child in question.  I thought her story was HIL..AIR...E...OUS, until now.  Because my son trumped it.

I think parental humiliation comes with steps, kind of like the grieving process.   The steps are not necessarily the same as those associated with grieving, but they are steps just the same.  A parent must experience each step and work through them one by one before they can move on with their so called peaceful- before I had embarrassing children- lives.

Denial:

Andrew after coming inside from playing at the neighborhood park this afternoon:  Hey Mom, I forgot to tell you, Colby pooped and peed outside today.

Me:  You mean he messed his pants?

Andrew:  No, I mean he pooped at the park.

Me:  No he didn't. There is no way.  He wouldn't do that.

Andrew:  Yes, he did.

Me:  When?

Andrew:  A while ago...I forgot to tell you.


Confusion:


Me:  What do you mean you forgot to tell me?  I'll deal with you later.

I then marched around the house for a while wondering what in the world just happened and how I was going to deal with it.   I decided that the best choice was to make Colby show me where he did the deed so I could clean it up the best I could- this is the neighborhood park for heavens sake!  The home owners association has strict rules about dog mess...I'm guessing it applies to human mess too.   I grabbed a wad of Clorox wipes, handed Saylor to Andrew and stomped outside.


Anger:

By the time I crossed the street  and reached Colby I was ready to wring his scrawny underweight toothpick of a neck.  He denied the offense of course, but then fessed up when Carter and the other neighbor kids showed me where "it" was.  I was fuming by then.   Some kids deface their neighborhoods by sticking their hands in wet cement, others by carving their initials in signs or trees...my son chooses to leave a "part of himself" under the play set at the park.

Me:  Colby, why didn't you come home to use the bathroom?

Colby:  I don't know...I had to go bad.


Shame:


I found myself dragging a guilty four year old home in one hand while carrying a "special package" in the other.  This is after I found out from the neighborhood children than Colby had picked up his "stuff" and showed it to everyone with pride.  I'm dying by now-really I am.  I had Colby go inside, I put all the toys back in the garage and the Dixon family was inside for the night.  ...like I was really going to show my face again.  I did however go to the neighbors house with a clean wad of Clorox wipes to clean off a toy car that Colby had been riding in after his "movement of glory."


Acceptance:


Colby spent some serious time in the tub and then was banished to his room.  He feel asleep.  Apparently, he was "pooped."  After his nap, I asked him if he was ever going to "go" outside again.  He said no...but if he did, he would get a bunch of Kleenexes and put "it" in the garbage.  I don't think he quite got the picture.


I'm now trying to laugh about this entire situation.  My mother sure did...she even hit the high pitched gasping for air laugh that is usually reserved for the Walker Christmas white elephant gift exchange.  I'm also hoping my neighbors see the humor and don't ban their children from hanging around the trashy Dixon kids.

And...just chalk this up for another reason we are NOT getting a dog.  Cleaning up after Colby is enough.