As of 1:09 am this morning I am officially 34 years old.
And so far...it hasn't been too bad. Steve took the day off, I got a much needed haircut, (it's been nine months since my last one) and I had a HUGE bagel sandwich with turkey bacon and sprouts. (my last one ever, but that will be discussed later)
However, there are few reasons why this birthday will never be forgotten.
One reason being that I have the biggest zit know to mankind on my chin. This thing honestly has it's own gravitational pull. I'm really annoyed because 34 year olds should not have to deal with age and zits. It should be against some divine plan, really it should. If you see me today, please try and keep your eyes focused on my eyes as you speak to me. But I will understand if you can't help yourself and sneak a peak at Mt. Everest.
The second reason this birthday will go down in history is because yesterday I was diagnosed with Celiac disease. Considering my family history (my sister also has Celiac), Carter being a type 1 diabetic (the two diseases are genetically linked) and my lovely symptoms (I will not talk about them on this blog...it would be unladylike of me) I am not surprised. Sad, but not surprised.
Two weeks ago I called my family physician and asked for a Celiac blood panel to be done. The results were in yesterday. The blood test is actually not diagnostic for Celiac, I would need to get a intestinal biopsy for an official diagnosis, but figuring in everything else...I've got it.
What does this mean?
This means that to be healthy, I can no longer eat gluten in any form.
No bread.
No cookies.
No cake.
Nothing with wheat in it.
It hasn't fully soaked in yet...hence why I ate the ginormous bagel sandwich for lunch today.
I've decided to eat gluten through the weekend, wrap my head around this entire thing and THEN de-gluten my home, myself and my children.
It's going to take some serious work.
But I can do it. It's going to be insane, but I can handle it.
But what I'm not sure I can handle is shopping in gluten free sections and/or health food stores.
Why you might ask?
Because people are crazy- insane crazy. And the craziest of the crazies can be found in the health food section.
For instance:
#1: This morning, Steve and I went to Walmart (devil store) to check out their meager gluten free section.
This is what we found.
Yes...that is wheat gluten found in the gluten-free section.
Um, does anyone else see a problem with this?
Walmart is crazy and stupid.
(yes, I just wrote the word stupid even though I don't let my children say it.)
#2: I also went to Fred Meyer today to check out their gluten-free selection. A nice looking woman was in the gluten-free/health food aisle and was actively putting things in her cart. I picked up a bag of gluten-free pasta and was reading the label. She struck up a conversation about how this other brand was better. I told her that my sister liked the kind I was holding. Me answering her was apparently an invitation for her to lecture on the proper way to feed a family. She started talking about organic food and other extreme things so I told her I couldn't afford to feed my children pasta that costs $4 a box. She then asked me if I ate organically and I again informed her that I don't have enough money to feed four children all organic food. She looked at me as if I had murdered her dog. She started telling me why I should eat organically and I told her (nicely) that I would rather not hear it. She then told me that she needed to educate me. I told her I didn't want to be educated. She then walked away while mumbling under her breath about pesticides and that I was just wasting my money. I hollered back (not so nicely) that we would all die someday anyway.
I think I can stand being a celiac, I just don't think I can stand the people I will meet shopping.
And for the record, this is a list of gluten filled foods I will miss the most:
(Please don't judge me for trying to eat all of them in the next three days)
Cafe Rio
Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwich
Pizza (more for the convenience than for the actual taste)
licorice
Brachs candy corns
Nacho Cheese Doritos
Cheesecake Factory mac and cheese and wheat bread
everything from Taste of Thai
flour tortillas
chocolate chip cookies
cookie dough blizzards
homemade bread/rolls fresh out of the oven
Honey Bunches of Oats
...and anything else I can't think of now that has gluten in it.
Here is a list of gluten-free things that might save me from going into a deep dark depression:
chocolate
nutella
rotisserie chicken from Costco
fruit
Reses peanut butter cups
cheddar cheese and sour cream ruffles
And for the record, this is a list of gluten filled foods I will miss the most:
(Please don't judge me for trying to eat all of them in the next three days)
Cafe Rio
Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwich
Pizza (more for the convenience than for the actual taste)
licorice
Brachs candy corns
Nacho Cheese Doritos
Cheesecake Factory mac and cheese and wheat bread
everything from Taste of Thai
flour tortillas
chocolate chip cookies
cookie dough blizzards
homemade bread/rolls fresh out of the oven
Honey Bunches of Oats
...and anything else I can't think of now that has gluten in it.
Here is a list of gluten-free things that might save me from going into a deep dark depression:
chocolate
nutella
rotisserie chicken from Costco
fruit
Reses peanut butter cups
cheddar cheese and sour cream ruffles
Dang people who think they know everything. Couldn't she take a hint after you politely refused the first time?? She must think it's her life calling to save us all from toxins. Glad you set her straight. :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your gluten-free future. Just think, you are going to feel SO much better. And you still get to enjoy that little list of gluten free stuff goodies! Thank goodness. Google gluten-free cheesecake and make a big one and eat the whole thing. Or I will help you eat it if you want. :)
No worries Jill- you have ME! Sorry about the crazy lady in Fred Meyer. When I shop I keep my head down and stay away from the crazy organic people. They probably make fun of me as I buy only unhealthy gluten free junk food. You are going to do great and I love you! Also remember, we make the best gluten free cookies known to mankind! Love, GF-Jo (Get it kind of like GI-Joe...only gluen free!)Ok maybe I am not funny:)
ReplyDeleteok. I don't know where to start. I want to say. OH NO! because I would hate loosing at that food. but I also want to say it will be ok. You do have Jo and she has discovered how to do it DANG GOOD. Every time I ate at her house we had yummy homemade bread- that tasted gluten homemade. brownies, and "normal" food that i cook.
ReplyDeleteSO. are you as sensitive to gluten as JO? Where you can't have any gluten dust anywhere? Like will you be able to go to cafe rio and get some food on a corn tortilla or will you get sick because maybe some flour got on it? Have you been getting as sick as she has?
Since knowing about Jo, I notice everything that is gluten or not. I've been to some stores that have HUGE sections of gluten free. I hope there is one in twin soon! for you.
and THAT LADY in fred meyer. holy cow. hahaha can't believe it.
I am so sorry!! My heart sunk as Jonny told me the bad news. That lady in Fred Meyer was terrible! That's worse than all the people at the fair telling me their pregnancy stories that I don't care about. "you still have 4 weeks left? are you having twins?" No, I'm just huge, now move out of my way so my big belly and butt can pass you. :-) Please call me when you need to vent. I miss you guys and can't wait for a wonderful gluten-free Christmas!
ReplyDeleteLove, Caprice
dang it you are the best cook! the world is going to be a little darker without your bread/rolls and cookies. Well I know you'll come up with some good recipes without gluten but what a pain. Happy b-day.
ReplyDeleteJill- Elliott and I eat GF- we have for almost 2 years. It's actually a great way of life. Craig eats GF at home and he's totally fine with it. If you want any recipes, a whole list of what we eat (I've been asked a gazillion times- so I just typed it all up) or anything, let me know.
ReplyDeleteIt will take some time- but I promise you it will be well worth it in the end.
Good luck!