Falling Behind

Honestly- its been a rough week.

I feel like I'm falling behind with everything.  My calling, my kids, my house (please don't look at my house), my relationship with Steve, my sanity…all of it seems to be teetering.  Then add a dose of female hormones into the mix and Whoa Nelly this home has been chaotic.  (Maybe it was the female hormones that brought on the chaos in the first place.)  No matter how it happened or what caused it, I desperately want to "get back to normal" if you know what I mean.

But I'm not sure there is a "normal" and I'm starting to think the gigantic ball of disasterness IS MY NORMAL.

I knew I needed to chill out this morning when stepping on yet another nasty piece of cold cereal with my bare feet about put me over the mothering edge.  

It was the straw that broke my stimulation back.  I now realize I can't handle three boys hollering and whooping (all when they are supposed to be getting ready and I've told them 100 times already to quit fighting and just go brush their dang teeth), Saylor begging me for yet another need of hers to be met,  Grady sneezing ginormous green lamb chops for the 5th time in 2 minutes,  smelling rotten milk from the thermos Andrew left in his room from LAST Saturday's ski trip,  making lunches and writing carb counts on the bags….and then stepping on yet another piece of un-swept crunchy cereal that shatters under your feet and sticks to your skin at the same time.   I had to count to 10 in order to not strangle the closest person to me.

(I'm a wonderful mother I know.)

I'm looking forward to the weekend and hopefully (crossing my fingers here) cleaning my house and finishing a few unaccomplished projects.   I'm praying finishing something will make me feel powerful and in control. 

I'm also hoping to feed my kids something other than cold cereal and muddy buddies for dinner.  (hence why the stupid cereal was on the floor in the first place.)

The main project I want done??

I've been thinking and working on this since Thanksgiving.

I really want this puppy completed and on my office wall.

Here's hoping I make it to the store to buy a few more frames and that prints come in the mail today.

I'm also really sad I don't get my camera out anymore.  Maybe I'll make that a goal for this weekend.

It seems my phone is just more convenient and easy…but sadly all I get now are these grainy phone pics.  Better than nothing I guess.

The results from when a baby and a chocolate chip muffin collide.

The mess was colossal.

I figure this picture describes my demeanor lately perfectly…

Frosty and dismal, with more than one out-of-date project or job left to be cleaned up or finished.

(Please note the Christmas lights and bird houses that needed to be put away months ago.  Months.)

But in all the craziness, I am trying very hard to focus on the little things that matter more than the messes...

 such as spending a little more time tyring out a new hair style for Saylor.

He cut ends are getting longer and allowing me to try new things.  She loves sitting on my counter while I dote only on her.  

Love notes to Andrew.

We have this little game where I try and write a love note on his lunch bag without him noticing it.  He sees them for the most part, smiles, and then switches his lunch to a new bag.

I think I'm going to have to get stealthy and super creative.

This morning I cracked a smile (even though I didn't get a love not written) and made him think there was one in his bag.  He tried desperately to find it before he left for school.  I told him as he walked out that I kissed every single potato chip before I put it in his lunch and then wrote "I love you" in his peanut butter.  He smirked and told me he was going to buy hot lunch today.   

Last night Steve and I left the three oldest home, packed up the two littlest and went to the Canyon Ridge girls basketball game vs Twin Falls.

It was fun to leave the messes behind and feel like a person.

(However…seeing high school kids just makes me feel old.)

Say loved sitting with her favorite adoptive family who has five daughters.  She is in sister heaven with the Bulkleys!

Grady was perfect for the most part until that pesky band played during half time and woke him up.