Same old stuff but with a little gratitude

I've noticed lately that my posts consist of random thoughts and activities that happened in the last two or so days.  This will be no different.  A rut is a rut is a rut.

...but I'll try to take pictures tomorrow.  Then when I post on Thursday or so, there will be something to look at.  (Doesn't this just make you want to read on?)

But really, lately I've been thinking about happiness and what makes me truly happy.   I feel that happiness is a state of mind that comes from being satisfied with what you have at any given moment.  It's contentment with your circumstances- not wanting more, but feeling complete with what you already have.  Now, if this is true, anyone can achieve happiness no matter their circumstances...rich, poor, old, young, fat thin, beautiful, or maybe a little unfortunate (my father describes it as having a "marketing problem"). This goes hand in hand with gratitude.  If you are truly grateful for everything you have, how could you not be happy?

Now as I write this at 10:30 pm on a Sunday night, I fully realize that I am tired beyond all reason and am probably making no sense whatsoever.  I also fully realize that I'm writing this in my warm safe home, I have nice warm clothing on, I ate a delicious dinner tonight, all my children are safe in bed, I am relatively healthy as are my children, my husband has a good stead job, and I am loved by my husband, my children and my family.  I have it pretty good. Really good.  And I am grateful for it.  What in the world do I have to be unhappy about?

But sometimes, like everyone, I have those little thoughts of...well...call it covetousness, envy, grumpiness, ungratefulness...whatever it is, it has the same result.  "If only I had a nicer home.  If only I looked like her.  If only I could do that better.  If only I had more more more!" -and the list goes on.  I become a Debby Downer for the day and wallow in my own self pity.   I have every one of my needs met and still I find something to whine about?   Pathetic I know.

Thank goodness I have the ultimate Lemonade Maker in my house (Steve...obviously) to show me the way.  He is SO good for me.  I cherish his example of being satisfied and grateful for even the little things in life.  Lets face it, the guy gets a happy high from seeing an old ugly car driving around town.  He is good at finding joy.   He let me know the other day when I was fretting about something that could happen but obviously has not happened nor do I have control over it happening, that I was waisting my time and energy.  It wasn't worth my worrying effort.  ...but I really think he was just trying to get out of listening to me whine.

So on that note of choosing to be happy, here are some things that have given me joy in the last two or so days. (told you I was in a rut)  Some serious and some not so serious. Call it a light hearted grateful to be me list if you will.

- Steve and I went away overnight to Idaho Falls without children Friday and Saturday.  It has been two years since we spent a night away from our kids.  We had a fabulous time and I relished spending time with just Steve.  But, when I got home Saturday night and tucked my kids into their own beds for the evening, I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace and happiness.  I truly find joy being home with my children.  (And even more joy when they are asleep)

- I like to look at homes for sale.   It became a habit when I began looking for homes in Twin when we stilled lived in Virginia.   The market in Twin is different then when we bought this house and prices have dropped quite a bit.  There are many homes out there that are bigger, nicer and cheaper than the one I am living in.  However, as I tell Steve all the time, I am happy with my house.  Would a bigger kitchen be nicer- absolutely.  Do I wish my grass didn't look diseased- you betcha.  But every once in a while, when I'm picking up after my kids, or completing a random task, I feel a complete gratitude for the home I have been blessed with.  All my children fit in it, we live in a great neighborhood with wonderful friends and neighbors, we love our children's school, we love and enjoy our ward family, my kids have adventure space in the back field, I have room for a garden,  I have two...count them...two storage rooms, and three full baths.  Is my house fancy?  Nope.  Do I have granite counter tops?  Nope.  Do I have vinyl flooring and cheap kitchen cabinets?  Yep- but they are my vinyl flooring and cheap cabinets.  Life is pretty grand.  Steve and I both feel blessed to be have been led into purchasing this home.  And by saying being led...I'm not referring to our realtor if you get my drift.

- I have gained weight since I stopped nursing Saylor.  I knew it would happen, but was still grumpy when it did.  But this weekend with Steve, I found the ultimate way to feel ten pounds lighter.  It has done wonders for my moral and self image.  I bought bigger pants.  Why beat myself up over a pair of pants that fit four months ago?  Why try and squeeze my non-nursing self into a skin tight prison?  Why why why?  As I sit here typing and can actually breathe and not have denim cutting into my newly expanded muffin-top, I feel gratitude for the Buckle store in Idaho Falls and for the "not so little" fact that they carried a size larger in my favorite jeans.  Really and truly, happiness is just a bigger pant size away.  (I think I will make that into a bumper sticker...and use the $$$ to put in granite counter tops and hard wood floors.)