Each of my children starting with Andrew

My brain has wanted to write this post for a while, but time, energy and mental capacity has kept it at bay.  I've wanted to write about each of my children- about how they are right now at this point in time.   I'm realizing more every day how fleeting their childhood is.  I know in a blink it will be gone.  Oh- how I wish I could bottle it up and save it...only to unseal it later in life and inhale it in its entirety again.  My kids are wonderful.  They are the joy of my life.  They are the reason I came to this earth and I cherish each of them individually.  I realize they are not perfect, but either am I.   And I want them to realize that this imperfection on both our parts is what makes life real.  Real and interesting.  I just hope they forgive me for my imperfections...and laugh about them together as siblings when I am too senile to care.

The Beginning-
Andrew Stephen

Andrew is busy busy busy.  I'm getting a glimpse of the next five years and coming to grips that I will see him less and less as he starts highschool.  His friends and activities will be more important than home life and the few minutes or short hours I see him here and there is all I'll get.  I ask myself all the time if I have done enough for Andrew.  Have I taught him what he needs to know spiritually?  Is his testimony strong enough to carry him through the next five years of middle and high school...and then onto his mission and adulthood?  Have I pushed him enough academically?  Does he realize how important his education is and will he love it enough to get through the next 10-15 years of structured learning?  (Yes Andrew...your dad and I expect that much school)  I only have five years left with Andrew before he leaves for his mission.  Only five.  When he was born almost thirteen years ago...18 years seemed like forever.  Now I'm wishing I could turn back the clock and relive a few of those years.  Andrew was and is a very cute little boy...oh I mean young man.

Andrew right now is doing very well in 7th grade.  He gets almost all A's on his report care with a B scattered here and there.  He is still taking piano lessons and loves playing the trumpet in the school band.  He recently spent his own money and bought Star Wars sheet music.  More nights than not, the "sweet" sound of the trumpet comes from the basement.

Andrew finished up his track season today with an all day track meet at Canyon Ridge.  I took Saylor and Grady and was lucky enough to catch him run the 1200 meter.  He was in the middle of the pack the entire race and finished strong by sprinting the last 100 meters.  He had his best time yet.  I dropped off sunblock while I was there and had to bribe him with $4 to put it on.  He's going to come home crispy. I'm proud that he is willing to participate and enjoy the fun of sports even though his is not necessarily the fastest runner on the team.  There is a lot to learn by having to try hard and improve.

Along with band and track, Andrew is staying busy with YM's and is planning on many campouts this summer.  I signed him up for swim team again that will start the week after school is over.  We have found that exercise is the key to Andrew's happiness.  Also this summer, Andrew will be again mowing my dad's huge lawn for more money than he deserves.   I have bittersweet moments with this job.  I love that Andrew is making his own money and learning responsibility, but frustrated with the time he is gone...he is the BEST babysitter and worker at home.  When he is working for my dad, he is not working for me.  Blast.

Andrew right now has the best group of friends any kid could ask for.  Some are LDS and I'm happy that some are not.  All of these boys, however, are good kids with supportive parents that possess the same standards as us.  Are they normal boys that lose their brains sometimes?  Of course...but they still encourage eachother to do well in school and sports.  They also tease eachother just enough to keep one another humble.

Frustrating to Steve and I (and I'm sure Andrew too) is how we clash with our almost teenager as he strives to be independent and express his ideas of what he finds appropriate in speech, dress, and activity.  For instance,  Andrew so desperately wants to watch pg-13 movies and Steve and I have a strict policy of having to approve them first before he can partake.  I sometimes feel that we are the only parents who are this strict and Andrew feels the same way.   I abhor violence and want to shield my 12 year old from scenes and images that I know his brain is not ready to comprehend or manage.  I hope Andrew one day will understand why I am the way I am.   I also hope he will forgive me for the social outcast status he most likely feels I have given him.

Also on my frustration list (and his too) is Andrew's tendency to parent our other children.  Many a time he will get after one of his siblings with Steve or I present (or not present but withing earshot).   We realize his siblings are younger and can be extremely annoying to him, but scolding or demeaning them is unacceptable in our home.   This is a difficult situation, because I do leave Andrew in charge at times when I am going to be gone for a short time.  It can't be easy taking off the responsibility cap for a 12 year old...this is one of the reasons I don't like to leave my children on their own very often.

The last of my frustrations with Andrew at this time is his ability to go from normal to obnoxious in .2 seconds.  However, coming back down from obnoxious to normal is a much longer transition.  I completely understand that this behavior is age appropriate (I use the word appropriate loosely), but that fact doesn't make the constant noise and taunting siblings any easier to take.  I'll be relieved when Andrew grows out of this phase (years...it's going to be years)...especially the part of it that involves him speaking in a "Smeagal" voice from Lord of the Rings.  Kill me!   In the meantime I am praying for tolerance and having him exercise more.

My favorite things about Andrew?

His laugh.  His kindness.  His drive to do his best.  His desire to do what he knows is right.  His ability to stand up for what he believes in.  His willingness to help his dad and I around the house and yard.  His strong work ethic.  His love for his youngest siblings and compassion he shows for them.  (He reads Saylor bedtimes stories more than I do now)  His reverence for sacred things.   When he comes up at night after the other kids are asleep to say good night to Steve and I, he always hugs me and tells me he loves me.   The talks we have one on one where he opens up and shares his feelings and confides in me things he finds important.

Quirks I find fun and hilarious about Andrew?

How he spends WAY too much time on his hair in the morning.  His voice and how it has deepened the last six months.  How five different kinds of deodorant are still not enough- he wants more.  His sudden interest in clothing and style.   His ability to down six muffins for breakfast and still be hungry.  (I envy his metabolism)   His gratitude for the shabby excuse of a room with no carpet and a mattress thrown on the floor.   His massive feet (even though I dread them getting even bigger)  His sudden interest in cooking and making things for himself.