emotional...

Tonight I am emotionally and spiritually exhausted.  This is due to many many reasons but I only feel like sharing one tiny part…the slightly funny part.

My second born child came up to me this morning with wide brown eyes and asked me a very important question.

"Mom, is Santa really real?"

"Do you think he's real Carter?"

"Well…I've been wondering because I don't really believe in the tooth fairy any more.  I saw Dad…"

So thinking this was the proper time to share the truth about a Christmas tradition with a fourth grader who "might" get teased on the playground for his childlike innocent wonderful beliefs, I asked Carter to join me and his dad in my room.

This is where I shared a Christmas truth.

His big brown eyes turned red and filled with tears with the news.

Yeah…in retrospect I don't think he was ready and I feel I ripped his childhood right from under him.

After a short pep-talk about how knowing is actually more fun (you know, the crap parents tell their children to make themselves feel better about dashing beautiful childhood hopes and dreams into a million pieces), Carter disappeared to the basement to discuss the "truth" with his all-knowing older brother.

I cried and said to Steve, "That was AWFUL!  I feel like the worst parent ever."  

Steve replied, "That was HILARIOUS."